Networking is hard enough without being in the wrong room. Choosing the right organizations, where you have the best chance of feeling comfortable, showing up and meeting great people is key. Some great tips come from Jill Walser in an article titled “How I Overcame My Aversion to Networking and Learned to Love It”:
I initially looked at about eight different options and decided that the organizations I chose needed to meet four criteria:
1. They needed to be relevant to what I did.
2. They needed to have a face-to-face component and the people there needed to be happy to see me.
3. They needed to be filled with spark plugs – people very excited to be there and to be doing what they did for a living.
4. They needed to be easy to get to and offered at convenient times.
And to make it fun, try Ilise Benun’s tip:
You can even use [your nametag] to ask a question about a resource you need (“Know any good designers?”) Make it funny or unusual. Others will notice and see it as an invitation into conversation.
From her excellent article “How Not To Network”. Scroll down and read all the comments, there are some great ideas.
Jamie Ridler‘s strategy is to think differently about what you are doing. In her article “Give up Networking and Grow” she says:
“I’m that woman at the networking meeting having one more cup of coffee just to have something to do (and trust me, more caffeine doesn’t improve the situation). As a business owner, I knew I couldn’t go on like this. I had to do something to grow my circle, and I wanted to do it in a way that was authentic and that felt good.”
There are so many great ideas for overcoming reluctance to get involved. Try some of these and see if there is a gem in there for you.
If you can call ahead of time, tell the host or hostess that you are new to networking. Wait and see if they offer any assistance. Does the organization have a way to help newcomers? Is there anyone in particular they could introduce you to? Do they suggest a different aspect of their group?
If they seem to not know what to do with you as a reluctant or inexperienced networker, don’t go!
Great ideas Beth, I agree. I think all groups should have a guest/new member ambassador program or another plan to get new folks involved. So much is put into new member marketing and on Day 2 of a membership many people feel forgotten. Thanks for the comment.
More memberships are lost in the first year than people think. You know, now that I think about it, my organization has a decent program, but probably not the best. Could be better!
More resources put into the first year members would probably create a greater return on investment than a lot of other places such as new event creation (no point in new events if you’re not teaching people how to use them).
Thank you for making me think more about this!
You’ve got it. One thing that is working well in many places having a committee for member enhancement. A group of people who call or email new members and meet them at events so they know at least one person. This group also works to come up with ideas special events and programs to get people involved. The sooner you can get them showing up and volunteering the better. Try developing a list of small one-shot volunteer opportunities to draw people in. Low commitment – big engagement!
It is great that you are blogging about this, I look forward to reading.
Your points in the post about making sure that the event you attend is the right one is more important than people may think!
I’m amazed at how many people attend events because …
– They fit on their calendar
– Their friends go (but they don’t compare their friends’ goals to their own to see if there’s a match)
– They assume that the more events they attend, the better
– Some networking “guru” or other told them they should
– … and so on.
I went from being absolutely networking-phobic to actually teaching about it now (new teleclass starts Thursday! 🙂 ). And I’m amused, startled, dismayed, and saddened by the ways I and others stumble over things we think “should” be, or “rules” from somewhere … and end up feeling, as one of the people in my class said in her signup form, “dread, dread, dread.”
I’m delighted to find your blog! thanks for writing on such an important topic.